Jealousy.

As we seem to be on a roll dealing with various emotions, and I'm a fairly emotional person myself, one emotion I never had however was jealousy. I was quick enough as a child to grasp the hard fact that we were a poor Family and could not afford the luxuries other children enjoyed, and that was the end of it, simple as that. Yes I can say with full confidence that I have never been jealous of any other man's wealth, wife, or property in my life. At the risk of being Guillotined I would venture to suggest it's mostly a women's emotion.

Re: Jealousy.

I like your style Jem, you're a brave man comming out with that statement, I hope you have a tin hat ready

Re: Jealousy.

No Jim, you're absolutely right. Jealousy is more a woman's emotion than that of a man.

I think there's a definite line between being envious and being jealous. I can envy certain things, but that doesn't make me jealous. To my own way of thinking, envy is a positive and well-adjusted emotion, whereas jealousy is negative and can be destructive.

To my knowledge I've never suffered from the green-eyed monster syndrome.

Re: Jealousy.

I don't consider myself a jealous person, I've always considered that if I don't hold his interest then being jealous and mean isn't gonna bring him back! Out he goes!

I have a question tho .. don't most people find jealousy a little flattering? I mean, isn't it kind of nice to have your significant other get a little, stupid and silly over you?

And on the same lines, if you're trying to get a rise out of your mate and there is no rise to be had, don't you feel kind of let down and ego-smashed?

What a great topic!

Re: Jealousy.

I am not sure about it being a womans thing. Are'nt most murders of passion carried out by men?

As for being jealous of others, we were always brought up to be thankful for what you had as you could have nothing at all.

Envious, never, think of the person with a Rolls Royce to your Smart car, they have more expense running it, is that what you want?

Re: Jealousy.

I don't envy anything that belongs to anyone else. I am happy with what I have and consider myself lucky.
I have never felt jealous in my relationship with my husband but then I have never been given reason to be, fortunately.
But I do believe it is an emotion that everyone is capable of given the right circumstances.

Some are more capable of controlling it than others but it's a very powerful emotion which can lead a person to extreme lengths.
I don't think for one moment that it is more a woman thing, it's more about insecurities and men are just as prone to those as women.

Re: Jealousy.

Never felt, nor feel jealous of anyone. We weren't well off where I came from and everyone was in the "same boat", so that emotion never rose!

The only thing that jealousy does - is takes you round the dance in a Tango!!

Good thread, JM, and good responses as well

Re: Jealousy.

I think an important distinction between jealousy and envy is that jealousy is often less controllable and irrational, whereas envy is a much more tangible emotion which can be quite a motivator.
I have been jealous and looking back it was pretty irrational and something I battled with for a few years even though it was not possible to do anything about how I felt. The passage of time took care of it though, thankfully.
I don't think I am envious of what other people have materially - People's lives are complicated and even though one person may appear to have it all it is not possible to have everything you would like to have in life, especially where relationships are concerned. There are many things, that money or status just can't buy.

Re: Jealousy.

I am neither envious or jealous of anyone .I am happy in the fact of what I have as been earned honestly..It aggravates me when I hear people being slagged off for their wealth and status when what they have has been earned by sheer hard graft .

Re: Jealousy.

I must admit I felt strong jealousy because of my husband's first wife. When I met him they were already separated, but even though they had parted I felt her presence in our relationship. I felt a need to remove every trace of her in his life and I harboured dark thoughts of posting mice through her letterbox at one point (absolutely true ). I suppose the feelings were an indication of my not feeling secure and safe. She had had him first and he had loved her first when he was younger. In some undefined way I thought she could intrude on our lives. Even though she didn't know who I was and passed me in the town without recognition, I knew who she was and whenever I saw her I was jealous. Looking back it was irrational, but once I had been with him longer than she had I realised that she didn't have any affect on us and I got over it.