Some Quickies

I met this bloke with a didgeridoo and he was playing Dancing Queen on
it. I thought, 'That's Aboriginal.'

Told my girlfriend I had a job in a bowling alley. She said 'Tenpin?' I
said, 'No, permanent.'

I went in to a pet shop. I said, 'Can I buy a goldfish?' The guy said,
'Do you want an aquarium?' I said, 'I don't care what star sign it is.'

I bought some Armageddon cheese today, and it said on the packet. 'Best
Before End'

I went to buy a watch, and the man in the shop said 'Analogue.' I said
'No, just a watch.

I went into a shop and I said, 'Can someone sell me a kettle.' The
bloke said 'Kenwood' I said, 'Where is he then?'

I went to the doctor. I said to him 'I'm frightened of lapels.' He
said, 'You've got cholera.'

I met the bloke who invented crosswords today. I can't remember his
name, it's P something T something R.

I was reading this book today, The History of Glue. I couldn't put it
down.

I phoned the local ramblers club today, but the bloke who answered just
went on and on.

The recruitment consultant asked me 'What do you think of voluntary
work? I said 'I wouldn't do it if you paid me.'

This policeman came up to me with a pencil and a piece of very thin
paper. He said, 'I want you to trace someone for me.'

I told my mum that I'd opened a theatre. She said, 'Are you having me
on?' I said, 'Well I'll give you an audition, but I'm not promising you
anything.

I phoned the local builders today; I said to them 'Can I have a skip
outside my house?' He said, 'I'm not stopping you!'

This cowboy walks in to a German car showroom and he says 'Audi!'

Re: Some Quickies

Lovely!
Just my type of humour - thanks

Re: Some Quickies

Love em all, especially the cheesy one.

Re: Some Quickies

They were all very funny and I understood them. (I'm not very good at understanding complicated jokes but those were nice straightforward easy jokes. )

Re: Some Quickies

very good!

Re: Some Quickies

Re: Some Quickies

- made me chuckle Sagecat