Family Unmoveables.

Today my Daughter left her Mother-In-Law to the train station after she spent the weekend with her, that was alright, only thing is she was supposed to return to her own house yesterday. We all like to have Family visitors every now and then, but some are inclined to overstay with no consideration for any plans you may have made. How do you Folks deal with this kind of awkward situation without offending anyone?.
My old Grandmother had little tact in such cases, she would just say, "Having a good time are we?, if I was in your house I'd be gone home long ago".

Re: Family Unmoveables.

I think I'd have said something like "Well it's been nice seeing you again. If I don't get you to the station you'll miss your train."

Or, "I'm sorry you can't stay another day but we've been invited to a friend's house tomorrow for lunch/dinner."

Re: Family Unmoveables.

Never had to deal with this situation. My house guests have never overstayed. I think it should be made perfectly plain, when the visit is arranged, that the host has engagements to meet. Politely of course but firmly.

Re: Family Unmoveables.

Its never happened to me either..

Re: Family Unmoveables.

Thanks Folks. This is not the first time her M-I-L has extended her stay and my daughter is getting cheesed off with her asking to stay longer, my girl is too soft and she takes advantage of this, knowing she won't be refused. Maria holds down a full time job and works hard all the week, with the two boys and the housework added, she looks forward to the weekend to relax with hubby and the boys.
Mollie, I'll tell her what you said, thanks.

Re: Family Unmoveables.

Jem can't your daughter's husband say something to his mother?
He could say it has been lovely having her but it is time to go and leave it at that .

Re: Family Unmoveables.

Jem you're welcome, and I agree with Meg. These things can be done tactfully, but gently at the same time without causing friction.

It is difficult when folk do over-stay their welcome, and I don't understand why folk are so insensitive to not know they're doing that.

Your daughter's husband should tell his mum that she's very welcome in their home, but only for a specified period of time. The mum in law may be lonely and needs to be with family, but she also needs to understand that they love her, but need their own private time as well.

I don't know how often this happens, nor how old she is, because I don't know mum's circumstances and it's none of my business, but if she is on her own and she's lonely, perhaps they could arrange for her to stay for a weekend once every month or two on a regular basis.

Have a family get-together and make a plan of action to include mother in law and when she's staying over, plan for a trip out somewhere, a meal, something to cure the boredom for the old girl. A bit of fun for her, rather than her being a hindrance. She's staying because she doesn't want to go back home - on her own?

Re: Family Unmoveables.

I have never had a situation like that, all our family members are welcome to stay at out home as long as they wish to.

Our guests who are invited to stay may do so for as long as they wish, I would never hint or chase someone from our home who had been invited.

Re: Family Unmoveables.

Fortunately my mother hasn't be able to make it to our home for a good few years. My in-laws weren't welcome guests either, neither my husband or I got on with them.

As for the rest our children and families are more than welcome to stay for as long as they like.

Re: Family Unmoveables.

Thank you all for your help Folks. I will have a word with my son-in-law. The woman is 70 and very lively, she has two married daughters living in her own area and a son about 20 miles away, so she is far from lonely, she loves the city and never misses a chance to come here. I'll let her son know in the nicest possible terms that my daughter is not going to be waiting on his mother hand and foot.
It's just that I got a bit upset when my daughter called to collect the two boys yesterday, she looked so tired and drawn, and then face a hard days work today, she's been through a lot lately and my heart went out to her.