Getting Older is fun

A distraught senior citizen
phoned her doctor's office.
'Is it true,' she wanted to know,
'that the medication
you prescribed has to be taken
for the rest of my life?'
'Yes, I'm afraid so,' the doctor told her.
There was a moment of silence
before the senior lady replied,
I'm wondering, then,
just how serious is my condition
because this prescription is marked
'NO REFILLS'.'

An older gentleman was
on the operating table
awaiting surgery
and he insisted that his son,
a renowned surgeon,
Perform the operation.
As he was about to get the anaesthesia,
He asked to speak to his son
'Yes, Dad, what is it? '
'Don't be nervous, son;
Do your best
And just remember,
If it doesn't go well,
If something happens to me,
Your mother
Is going to come and
Live with you and your wife....'

Aging:
Eventually you will reach a point
When you stop lying about your age
and start bragging about it. This is so true.
I love to hear them say "you don't look that old."
---------------------------------
The older we get,
the fewer things
seem worth waiting in line for.
---------------------------------

Some people
try to turn back their odometers.
Not me!
I want people to know 'why'
I look this way.

I've travelled a long way
and some of the roads weren't paved.
********************

When you are dissatisfied
and would like to go back to youth,
Think of Algebra.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You know you are getting old when
everything either dries up or leaks.
-------------------------------
One of the many things
No one tells you about aging
is that it is such a nice change
from being young.
--------------------------------
Ah, being young is beautiful,
but being old is comfortable.
---------------------------------
First you forget names,
and then you forget faces.
Then you forget to pull up your zipper.
It's worse when
you forget to pull it down.
---------------------------------
Long ago
when men cursed
and beat the ground with sticks,
it was called witchcraft...
Today, it's called golf.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Two men one old one young
are pushing their carts around Tesco
When they collide.
The older man says to the younger one,
'Sorry about that. I'm looking for my wife,
And I guess I wasn't paying attention
To where I was going.
The young man says, 'That's OK, it's a coincidence.
I'm looking for my wife, too...'
Can’t find her and I'm getting a little desperate'
The older man says, 'Well,
Maybe I can help you find her...
What does she look like?'
' The younger man says,
'Well, she is 27 years old, tall,
With red hair,
Blue eyes, she’s quite buxom,
and has long long legs,
she is wearing short shorts.
What does your wife look like?'
To which the older man says, 'Doesn't matter,
--- let's look for yours.'
*********************
Lord, Keep your arm around my shoulder,
And, Your hand over my mouth!

Re: Getting Older is fun

I can identify with the last one Cate - I like it

Re: Getting Older is fun

Oh yes indeed I know exactly what you mean. Yesterday I was in Aldi quietly minding my own business by the chiller cabinet. A young boy was skipping and hopping around the store while his parents shopped. The little laddie skipped and hopped right into my trolley pushing the handle right into my stomach. Luckily I had a thickish coat on so no harm done. BUT I did not lash out nor did I speak the lord must have been with me.