Join for free
dinahsmum's Avatar
dinahsmum
Senior Member
dinahsmum is offline
SW England
Joined: Aug 2009
Posts: 4,295
dinahsmum is female  dinahsmum has posted at least 25 times and has been a member for 3 months or more 
 
23-09-2009, 01:37 PM
1

The Amazing Scotsman (only a little rude)

A salesman drove into a small town where a circus was in progress. A sign read: 'Don't Miss The Amazing Scotsman'. The salesman bought a ticket and sat down. There, on centre stage, was a table with three walnuts on it. Standing next to it was an old Scotsman. Suddenly the old man lifted his kilt, whipped out a huge willy and smashed all three walnuts with three mighty swings! The crowd erupted in applause as the elderly Scot was carried off on the shoulders of the crowd.

Ten years later the salesman visited the same little town and saw a faded sign for the same circus and the same sign 'Don't Miss The Amazing Scotsman'. He couldn't believe the old guy was still alive much less still doing his act! He bought a ticket.

Again, the centre ring was illuminated.

This time, however, instead of walnuts, three coconuts were placed on the table. The Scotsman stood before them, then suddenly lifted his kilt and shattered the coconuts with three swings of his amazing member. The crowd went wild!

Flabbergasted, the salesman requested a meeting with him after the show.

"You're incredible!" he told the Scotsman. "But I have to know something. You're older now, why switch from walnuts to coconuts"?

"Well laddie," said the Scot, "Ma eyes are nae whit they used tae be."
Moli's Avatar
Moli
Senior Member
Moli is offline
Aberdeenshire
Joined: Aug 2009
Posts: 2,999
Moli is female  Moli has posted at least 25 times and has been a member for 3 months or more 
 
23-09-2009, 01:58 PM
2

Re: The Amazing Scotsman (only a little rude)

Mags's Avatar
Mags
Supervisor
Mags is offline
South West UK
Joined: Aug 2009
Posts: 47,931
Mags is female  Mags has posted at least 25 times and has been a member for 3 months or more 
 
23-09-2009, 02:05 PM
3

Re: The Amazing Scotsman (only a little rude)

moetmum's Avatar
moetmum
Senior Member
moetmum is offline
Hampshire
Joined: Aug 2009
Posts: 2,058
moetmum is female  moetmum has posted at least 25 times and has been a member for 3 months or more 
 
23-09-2009, 04:11 PM
4

Re: The Amazing Scotsman (only a little rude)

nero's Avatar
nero
Senior Member
nero is offline
Central Scotland
Joined: Aug 2009
Posts: 4,346
nero is male  nero has posted at least 25 times and has been a member for 3 months or more 
 
23-09-2009, 06:28 PM
5

Re: The Amazing Scotsman (only a little rude)



I'm often asked, . . "is anything worn under the kilt", I reply . . "no, it's all in perfect working order".
Alicat's Avatar
Alicat
Senior Member
Alicat is offline
West Berkshire
Joined: Aug 2009
Posts: 2,343
Alicat is female  Alicat has posted at least 25 times and has been a member for 3 months or more 
 
23-09-2009, 09:32 PM
6

Re: The Amazing Scotsman (only a little rude)

Originally Posted by nero ->


I'm often asked, . . "is anything worn under the kilt", I reply . . "no, it's all in perfect working order".

You should be on the stage Nero (with or without kilt)
merz
Chatterbox
merz is offline
Lancashire, UK
Joined: Aug 2009
Posts: 6,042
merz is female  merz has posted at least 25 times and has been a member for 3 months or more 
 
23-09-2009, 10:20 PM
7

Re: The Amazing Scotsman (only a little rude)

Originally Posted by nero ->


I'm often asked, . . "is anything worn under the kilt", I reply . . "no, it's all in perfect working order".
Were you a comedian in a former life Nero?


liked that Dinahsmum
 



© Copyright 2009, Over50sForum   Contact Us | Over 50s Forum! | Archive | Privacy Statement | Terms of Use | Top

Powered by vBulletin Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.