How long does it take...

For you to consider someone a friend?
can it happen right off?
I know it can depend a lot on various things but give it a try.
Do you need to meet a person face to face or not, etc.?

Re: How long does it take...

I think its easy to make friends when you are a child and often those friendships stay with you for most of your life, especialy if you grow up together and experience things together. As you get older I think it becomes more complicated - we get discerning and judge more readily. A deep friendship is harder to achieve from scratch when you are older, but I think you can often have plenty of acquaintances and casual friendships at varying levels. I suppose a certain level of friendship could be struck without meeting, especially if it goes on for a long time, but would that friendship be "real" or for what it gives you/what you want it to be.
I think I would need to define what a friend really means first. Friendship means different things to different people.

Re: How long does it take...

It does mean different things to different people Aerolor and that is why I posted the question. Just want to know how alike or different we all are from each other.
I am the sort that can gain a new friend on the spot-even if I haven't met them face to face. As for it being a lasting friendship etc. only time will tell.

Re: How long does it take...

I think I know what you mean Dragon - I'll talk to anyone who will answer back. A "liking" for someone can be almost an immediate reaction, an instinctive feeling, but I am not sure about "friendship" That is more a mutual thing which needs to be explored and allowed to grow. Some people who I have not instantly liked have turned out to become friends and some who I liked on initial contact have not developed into friends. Friendship can be offered, but, but it has also to be accepted and strengthened. I don't think it can survive if it is one-sided.
I have both male and female friends. I don''t think you need only to have friends specific to your gender.

Re: How long does it take...

You can have casual type friendships with people you get to know, but personally only a few would deepen to a strong real friend.

For me, this would happen gradually too.

I like and enjoy people - (which is helpful as I am a human-being too - Yes, absolutely true,
- but take my time, in allowing the 'friendship' to nourish & flourish (or not, as the case may be).

I do also feel that you can meet someone and somehow feel an instant empathy with them.

Equally, (as this Forum will testify) - conversations also allow us to get to know the other person. I realise it is not fully knowing them, but based on their communications we can derive an understanding of each other, and either warm to it and enjoy it, (or not)! LOL.

(Providing there is sincerity and honesty in those communications! - You all know that I am a female Jumbo Jet Pilot who owns her own Island, for when I need to get away or invite close friends to share)!


Rainbow

Re: How long does it take...

I think you can tell rather quickly if you 'click' for one reason or another and then to be considered a 'friend'.

A life long, tell all, love of, connected souls takes many years of give and take and just being there for each other. I've known mine for at least 40 years now and we have been through so much together just by being involved in each other's lives, ups and downs, thoughts, wishes, etc., that the connection is stronger than ever.

Re: How long does it take...

It usually takes me a long time before I like to make friends with people.

There are one or two exceptions but in general I need to read a person thoroughly before I attempt to be friends with them.

Once I make friends people tend to stay friends for life.

I trust no-one until they prove that they can be trusted, I have lived by that motto and it has proven secure up to now.

Re: How long does it take...

Taken from Antibrown's post
I trust no-one until they prove that they can be trusted, I have lived by that motto and it has proven secure up to now.

How does one person prove to another that they can be trusted when a friendship begins. I think I am a bit diffrent from AB, inasmuch that if I want someone as a friend I am prepared to trust a bit and take the risk that I may be let down, but hope the potential benefit outweighs that initial risk. Time will usually tell. Mind you I'm not talking about lending money and I wouldn't ask them to move in

Re: How long does it take...

agree Aerolo! I have never met a stranger just friends waiting to happen. Time deepens the friendship & trust just happens right along with it.
It's like Folks want you to respect them but that is earned.

Re: How long does it take...

There`s a fine line between acquaintance and friend, and is a transition which sometimes happens imperceptably over time, as knowledge and trust build. I`m not sure friendship can ever be complete without face to face contact, but empathy through conversation, through the written word, can sometimes come very close.