Funerals I Have Known

Funerals I Have Known

There's been much posting here about organising and planning your own funeral...something that some of us find daunting to say the least!
But we all have to attend funerals from time to time, and some are far more memorable than others, so I thought I'd begin a thread where we could post accounts or just leave comments about funerals that have amazed, delighted, or even horrified us!
This is by no means intended to be morbid, there might well be prayers or songs or readings we want to share or recommend to others.

Here are accounts of two funerals I recently attended...


The first one was the father of one of my son's friends.
He, it turned out, had been a Hell's Angel in his day!

So, if you will, imagine the scene at the Crem with a number of grey haired men dressed in garish T-shirts and leathers!
A non religious service ( Pagan, I think), which actually was lovely...various people spoke about him, and apparently the Blessing at the point of Committal came from a book called The Pagan Book of Living and Dying...https://www.amazon.co.uk/Pagan-Book-...=UTF8&qid=&sr=
I asked the lady who conducted the service about this afterwards as I'd found it very moving, and it was she who gave me the title of the book.

No communal singing, and the only music was some heavy metal stuff now and again, which I didn't know, one of the songs was Sweet Leaf by Black Sabbath.

The main floral tribute was a large three dimensional golden motor bike!

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My great college friend's funeral was organised by her and took place last Monday. I'm still reeling!

The gathering was in a village hall in the Midlands, and when I walked in through the door I thought for a moment it was a party...balloons and bunting, everyone wearing brightly coloured clothes (the dress code was No Black).

The simple white wooden coffin was in the centre of the room wrapped in white paper.
There were chairs in two or three rows all around it...everyone was invited to decorate the coffin with messages of love and so on, messages, photos etc. and there was a table with felt tip pens, sparkles, coloured feathers, butterflies, little sticky-backed notelets to write on...you get the idea, everyone very busy!!
The children of whom there were quite a number loved all this!

There was tea and coffee and juices and biccies. Much chat and a happy buzz of natter and introductions and activity.

Then after an hour we all sat down and the service began.
My friend had been a BigWig in the Yoga movement, so the proceedings were essentially non-religious but very spiritual indeed.
The atmosphere was lovely...we sang Amazing Grace, all four verses, and this was led by a man with a great voice, no accompaniment...then various words, poems and readings etc.

It was all about the journey she was going on and new life, the earth would embrace her body back into itself and she would have life again as surely as Spring follows Winter...lovely and positive if this is what you believe.

Then more singing, chanting I'd call it, where one voice sings a line and everyone copies. Instruments were handed round for the children to play, bells, tambourines, wooden blocks, just like at school!
Lots of joyful noise, we were encouraged to raise the roof!
Candles were lit around the coffin to light the way when her soul was released...

We were then handed long sparklers and we were ushered outside to form a kind of guard of honour, holding these lit sparklers aloft whilst the coffin was carried through to the back of the waiting van.
More joyful singing and someone had drums too.
Then we piled into a convoy of our cars and we drove a mile or so to a Natural Burial Ground.

We parked in a wooded area and walked through an open hilly grassy area to the graveside, singing all the while. Heaven knows what language, I just copied the tune and joined in with with la la la!
The one I knew was "Don't worry 'bout a thing, every little thing's gonna be alright", you know the one,
Bob Marley isn't it?
A far cry from Verdi's Requiem which is more what I'm used to!!

Her son read the poem Miss Me But Let Me Go...http://www.funeralhelper.org/miss-me...o-unknown.html
and then there were a few more words about her journey home...we all took flowers and petals from several big containers and went forward to place these on the coffin which by now was a mass of colour.

The coffin was carefully lowered, more singing, and then (this was the bit I couldn't believe my eyes!) her son said to his young boys, aged about 8 and 10 "Come on boys we've got work to do!", and they all picked up the silver spades provided, and got stuck in moving the large mound of earth onto the coffin, other men joined in, it took a while, then when the job was done we all clapped and sang some more!!

Honestly I still can't believe it, it was one of the most joyful and colourful occasions I've ever attended.

Hope you've enjoyed reading this, it's been very therapeutic for me to write it all down.

R.I.P. my dearest friend, go on your way with my love and many many blessings xxxx

Re: Funerals I Have Known

What a lovely post Ruthio x
A moving and uplifting experience



I certainly intend to pay for mine and leave "suggestions" but to a certain extent it's for the living left behind too I think

They're the ones who have to say goodbye

Re: Funerals I Have Known

What a wonderful uplifting funeral for your friend Ruthio.
Great way to go, all goosebumpy and a real celebration of her life.


PS Incidentally, thanks for mentioning the Natural Burial Ground - I had a bookmark of that site and lost it - couldn't recall the name. Sorted now!