Paranoid or too controlling ?

Parents at graces school take turns to take kids in, means less parking problems and saves a bit of petrol. I'm fine morning I take the darlings in, we fill car with kids and their stuff and off we go. But mornings other mums come round and whisk grace off I'm a basket case until she rings when she arrives. Can't decide if it's lack of control, don't think it's that I'm not usually wanting to control her every move, or paranoia, I'm not aware I am worried they will crash or something. But I'm so nervous I almost started biting my nails again !

Were you able to let go if others drove your kids ? I have to find a way to get past this as they are talking about holidays in the summer, one mum has a large estate in Scotland and has invited all the girls for a week away and has offered to drive some of them including grace up to Aberdeen. At this rate I'll have a heart attack before she gets to Birmingham.

Re: Paranoid or too controlling ?

Hmm, a tough one Julie. I expect it's tougher for you to let go because of everything you have been through with Grace in her young life already.
I suppose your nuturing side doesn't want her to go to Scotland, but you could also have a problem if the other kids all go and she can't.

You'll have to talk it over with OH, sometimes another head looks at things differently. You haven't got to make a quick decison, so take your time.
You could perhaps also ask the doctors if it would be safe for Grace to go the long distance, see what they advise.

Not an easy decision I imagine. Good luck.

Re: Paranoid or too controlling ?

Yes your right except I really want her to go, she mustn't miss out just because of my fears, I've got to find a way to not let her see I'm so scared.

Re: Paranoid or too controlling ?

So we assume all these parents all have been police checked first?

I used to drive a 7 seater and would often drive several boys to football matches.
These days it would be necessary for me to have an up to date poIice check certificate (CRB)

Re: Paranoid or too controlling ?

No never occurred to me we would need to be, we are all only offering a lift its not arranged by the school we had the idea ourselves.

Re: Paranoid or too controlling ?

other things should include

 Have an appropriate valid driving license
 Are insured for the journey ( Business Use)
 Have a valid MOT certificate
 Have a valid Excise licence (TAX disc)
 Have checked the vehicle is in a roadworthy condition
 Are not excessively tired, fatigued or under the influence of alcohol or
drugs.
 Meet minimum eyesight standards for driving. If they need to wear
glasses or contact lenses to meet minimum standards, these must be
worn at all times.
 Have no medical condition including the taking of medication or
infirmity that may affect their ability to drive safely.

I would include written permission from each parent allowing their children to be taken to school in another persons car and that driver named

As regards insurance if you receive money or not taking children to school could be considered as running a business and I would strongly urge that all involved check with their insuranc companies .

Don't exceed the number of passanger seats the car is allowed with children, you won't be insured

Re: Paranoid or too controlling ?

When our girls were at primary school they either walked on their own from the age of five, or caught the bus if it was too far to walk. We didn't believe in mollycoddling them. I would have had no problem if someone I knew well had given them a lift. They knew better than to accept a lift from a stranger though. When two of our daughters were walking home from their primary school at the age of 11 and 9 a man in a car stopped and asked them if they would like to get in, and he would take them to see his puppies. I informed the police who sent a detective round to interview them, a child had been abducted in a nearby town! They still walked to school the next day on their own.

Re: Paranoid or too controlling ?

T grace can't walk far and many at this school come well over 5 miles to get there.

RS everyone has a valid licence and no money changes hand so I doubt we need any special insurances it's just an offer of a lift.

Re: Paranoid or too controlling ?

Think this might help on to do and not to do

https://www.surreycc.gov.uk/roads-an...the-school-run

Re: Paranoid or too controlling ?

I think Mups is right Julie, I know I would feel the same if a child in my care had health problems and was going to be so far away from me. I would want to keep her with me and protect her...... but we have to let go of their hand sometimes!
If Grace really wants to go, you trust the people she is travelling with and her doctor says she should be alright maybe you should let her go. Providing you give the people, she is travelling with, some written details of her recent health scare and the hospital she was treated at, I am sure she will be fine. Don't worry about car accidents, they could just as easily happen on the way to school... but they rarely do.
I am sure she will have a lovely time, so just make sure she doesn't worry about you, worrying about her! I imagine all the children will want to ring home each day..... although at the age of 10, I went on a 3 day school trip to London and enjoyed it so much I never even thought about home!