02-02-2017, 11:37 AM
1
I despair
A very close friend of mine got involved with this man. 9 days ago she asked if I could drop by for a coffee and a chat.. She played me the recording of his threats,abuse and physical violence. He was convicted and subject to a restraining order.She had thrown him out twice before for verbal abuse.
By Sunday last she was taking his phone calls,by Tuesday when we went shopping she was tempted to let him back in, `It`s only when he has been drinking`
You could argue it`s none of my business but she is a very dear friend and I know company is important but I just feel she is making a mistake.
02-02-2017, 11:53 AM
4
Re: I despair
Originally Posted by Meep
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Yes it is your business because you know she will be at risk if she takes him back, sometimes people need reminding of how bad it was.I hope she thinks twice
When we went down to mum`s last Sunday Jane predicted it with chilling accuracy-I went back twice and took another effing beating,but I was only 18 then. He will promise her it will never happen again,he will be SO nice for a while-but they do not change.
02-02-2017, 11:55 AM
5
Re: I despair
Of course she's making a mistake, a huge mistake.But unfortunately it's well accepted now that victims of abuse often feel that if THEY behave in a certain way they can avoid the abusive behaviour and be responsible for the change in the abuser's behaviour.
It's Cloud Cuckoo Land.
What your friend urgently needs is a course of therapy.
I bet she feels in some way she's to blame?
She's very needy and this man knows exactly which strings to pull and is acting on her weakness.
That's how it goes...
02-02-2017, 12:03 PM
6
Re: I despair
Originally Posted by eccles
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It's my belief that some women court drama in their lives and don't want a peace-loving decent man because they see them as boring or weak. Feel free to disagree but you won't sway my opinion.
02-02-2017, 12:05 PM
7
Re: I despair
Originally Posted by ruthio
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Of course she's making a mistake, a huge mistake.But unfortunately it's well accepted now that victims of abuse often feel that if THEY behave in a certain way they can avoid the abusive behaviour and be responsible for the change in the abuser's behaviour.
It's Cloud Cuckoo Land.
What your friend urgently needs is a course of therapy.
I bet she feels in some way she's to blame?
She's very needy and this man knows exactly which strings to pull and is acting on her weakness.
That's how it goes...
02-02-2017, 12:10 PM
9
Re: I despair
Originally Posted by tarantula
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That is a very silly sweeping statement! It might apply to some women but they are in the minority. I would never in a million years tolerate someone who was abusive to me, nor would any of my daughters or close family.
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