Second Time Around

Recently separated after a purgatorial marriage, my path has crossed with those of a past lover from the 1980s who is now single as well.

Things didn't work out all those years ago but we parted without bitterness, just sadness and even affection.

Almost 3 decades later we are tentatively dating again.

I feel a mix of anxious and excited.

Anybody else in a similar position or able to offer advice?

Re: Second Time Around

I can't offer advice, there is nobody from my past that I would wish to see again, but I wish you good luck and hope things work out well for you.

Re: Second Time Around

If whatever caused the split in the 1980's is no longer relevant, then I'd say go for it and see where it leads.

Good luck.

Re: Second Time Around

I'm of the opinion "been there, done that and got the t-shirt"
I'd not want to revisit.....pastures new, embrace the new adventure, write a new chapter.
Onwards and upwards.

Re: Second Time Around

Thank you Carol.

I've thought about this. The things which attracted us are still there but those which drove us apart seem to be resolved.

Re: Second Time Around

My friend now in her 70's has just set up home with her first husband who married her when she was 17 and left her when she was 18 with a 3 month old baby, for another woman.

I understand that she is now very happy and settled

Re: Second Time Around

I can't say there is anyone form my past that I would want to re-visit as such but it can and does work. Just take it slowly and don't rush into anything.

Re: Second Time Around

Andy, you say you are separated, not divorced.
May I ask if this is this a very new situation? I ask because some people just don't like being on their own and get involved again for the wrong reasons.
Please don't be offended, I'm not always very good at phrasing what's on my mind.

Personally, I felt too raw to get involved in another relationship for a long time, it would have been the last thing I wanted, but we're all different.

I will sum up by saying people often change as they mature and hopefully get wiser.
If I was very fond of the other person once, I'd maybe give it a try - but I'd not jump in quickly at the deep end, or confuse yesterday's feelings with today's - today is a new ball game.

Good luck, what ever you choose.

Re: Second Time Around

Mups - it's a fair point. No offence taken whatsoever.

I don't have a problem being on my own - actually was quite looking forward to being single.

My past then caught up with me in a most unexpected way.

You are also right about not jumping in at the deep end. We are taking things slowly and gently.

Thanks for your advice and good wishes.

Re: Second Time Around

Devon ,coming out of a 23yr marriage you really ought to give yourself time to get over all the upheaval of a relationship breakdown and not jump into a new relationship as your feelings could be all over the place ....you dont want to jump out of the frying pan into the fire so to speak.....but I do hope you get on ok
Just dont rush and give yourself time to enjoy your own company