How lonely for some !!!

Hi everyone, just thought I would share this reader’s letter that I read in my paper this morning. Not afraid to admit it brought a tear to my eyes, What else does that poor lonely man have to do in order to find one person who actually cares enough to be classed as a friend? How many times upon reading how some widows and widowers were lonely did we patronisingly say to ourselves “you will never meet anyone unless you put yourself out and join clubs etc”. Seems this poor man did and is still lonely.

Seems so unfair. What is your opinion. Here is the letter.

Quote

A Lonely Lament

I’m 87 and lost my wife suddenly. We went to bed one night at 10.30 pm and at 2.30 pm she suddenly sat up in bed then stood up and said “I’m dying” before collapsing on the floor with a massive brain haemorrhage. She died in hospital two days later. That was three years ago, and I’ve been alone ever since.

At my wife’s wake, many people said, “You’ll have to come over for a meal one day”, but I’m still waiting for the invitations. Why do people say these things?.

My daughter lives in Dorset and my son in Gloucester. They phone every week and come to see me when they can, but they work all week and live many miles away,

I was in the Army, so I joined the British Legion for company, but they talked about football and knocked back quite a few pints, which isn’t for me, so I gave that up. I then joined the Civil Service Retirement Club as I was 20 years in the civil service.
When I joined, there were 30 members, but soon there were only a handful left, so it closed. I’m now looking for another club.

I’m not in perfect health, but can still get out and still drive. Yet when I meet people when I’m out, they don’t stop. They say “terrible weather” and carry on walking. It would be wonderful if I had someone say knock on my door and say “I thought I’d call in for a chat and a cup of tea”. But no-one ever does, so I’m a lonely old man.

I try to keep my brain active, using my computer, iPad and keyboards. My daughter, a psychiatric nurse, says “dad, you do damn well. Lots of people younger than you have no idea”.

My wife and I were married for 57 years and courted her for five years before that. I loved her more than all the stars in the sky, but she was suddenly snatched away from me. I have tears in my eyes just thinking of her. I have just one friend left, the rest are dead.

Yes, I’m a lonely old man.

Unquote.

So so sad, and he isn't alone in the way he thinks is he? It will certainly make me think twice the next time someone older than me stops in the street to say hello. Your views please,

Re: How lonely for some !!!

Yes It is very sad,but it's how things are now,in days gone by an elderly Parent would be taken to live with a Son or Daughter and stay part of everything going on in the Family...those days are long gone..What His Daughter should do is get in touch with Social Services in His area to find out if there's a Day-care Centre He can go to meet other elderly Folk...My last job before I retired was as a Day-care Officer for the Elderly,We picked Our Clients up in the Morning in the mini bus and They had a cup of tea and toast,a good blether with Each other,got Their nails or whatever done,newspaper read,help with filling in forms,newspaper read etc' and just entertained for the Day and a good lunch too before taking Them back Home around 3pm.

Re: How lonely for some !!!

It's not just young ones won't take in parents though, some parents are their own worst enemies and won't move in with kids. Man here in the flats so obviously lonely but he isn't helping himself, his kids beg him to go to them, he won't, neighbours try to chat to him but he's a bad tempered old bogger and it's no fun even trying sometimes.

We had him here for Christmas two years ago, never again he was so bad tempered all day nothing cheered him up.

Struck me from the story the gentleman is lamenting no one calls on him, but has he called on anyone ? Perhaps they assume he's ok he needs to knock a few doors with a packet of biscuits in his hand.

Re: How lonely for some !!!

I'm with you on that one SG
I'll certainly stop and chat rather than wave a greeting next time.

Re: How lonely for some !!!

This is so sad. So many lonely old folk.

Re: How lonely for some !!!

Maybe this man would consider being a visitor to people in his age group, in hospital or residential homes, I'm sure there are many who would welcome a friendly face and it would be rewarding for him too

Re: How lonely for some !!!

May, unfortunately, we had three Day Centres here in our little market town at one time and they proved very popular indeed as a daily meeting place to meet, have a cuppa and a chat, Christmas lunch and organised trips.
Unfortunately the council closed them all one after the other as part of the cuts. There is hardly anywhere left here now for the elderly to go tol Even the Library is under threat. No Bingo hall any more either. Terribly sad.

Re: How lonely for some !!!

This is so sad. But unfortunately the way of the world now.

I do try and stop to chat but the time I leave in the morning and get home on a night time I don't see that many people.
I did stop last night and chat to our elderly neighbour, I was going to rush off as my tea is usually ready but hubby came out so stopped to chat.

Re: How lonely for some !!!

Aye,that's a shame..the same happened with My small centre which just catered for around 8 clients per day,but a bigger one opened in the next Town which can take around 30 elderly Folks a day,,,It would certainly be worth trying to find out if there's one like that near where this Gentleman lives I think,not just for company,as the carers job is to keep an eye on the clients health and report any prob's etc....I may even become a Client Myself should I live that long and find Myself suffering as this poor old Soul is...One can never tell what's around the corner as We age

Re: How lonely for some !!!

All council facilities have closed of severely curtailed here too but the churches have taken up the challenge and run several coffee shops, meeting places, do bingo and whist drives. The Muslim centre is open to all too tea and cake mornings for anyone who wants a chat.

I would be surprised is that is only my area of the country, might be worth looking at church run facilities, they also run the young mums and dad meetings now too.