Stories to tell

My family love hearing my stories retold from here!

It causes much mirth around the kitchen table when they visit/stay here..."got any of your stories mum???"

I tell them (jokingly of course) that I belong to an Old Farts Forum!!
My daughter's b/f said very seriously over Christmas, is it really called Old Farts Forum??

Can't wait to tell them about Solo's neighbour!!

(Markey's ongoing tales when he brushed up against the Russian Mafia in London were gooduns.)

Have you any favourite stories, funny or serious, gleaned from here?

Re: Stories to tell

The only story I can recall was one I wrote about my encounter with a guy dressed up as a woman. Funny thing was, simply because I accidently ran across this confused guy at a party, some who read it here, thought I was gay and in fact, insisted that I was. Life works that way you know. When people don't understand life, they mistakenly put you in boxes.

Re: Stories to tell

I often tell my family about the forum post on here , some that are very funny ,some that are not and the scraps that go on .
Its like a Soap series and each poster is a charactor playing their part ..
And there is a lot going on that is not plain to see but suddenly a member post something and it all drops into place , .

Re: Stories to tell

So true Eliza
Yep - Fabs knows all that goes on and we have many laughs thanks to all here

Re: Stories to tell

I dare not tell my daughter, she thinks I'm fat too cool to hang out with old farts, of course she's wrong.

Re: Stories to tell

Hi

Not gleaned from here, but some tales to tell.

One was from work, some years ago.

I was based in a very old, very decrepit office, badly in need of new carpets, they stank, a lick of paint, the paint we had was peeling off the walls and the desks etc were literally falling apart.

We had been complaining for some time, to no avail.

Lo and behold, everything suddenly changed, walls and ceilings painted, new carpets, furniture, windows cleaned for the first time in years.

Pictures put up on the walls and even pot plants provided.

The ladies had been complaining about their loos, us to a lesser extent.

They were both completely refurbished, new urinals and loos, mirrors on the walls,no more paper towels and smelly baskets, new hand driers.

All this was accomplished in 9 days, from start to finish, two weekends the contractors worked, all day and through the nights as well.

We were gobsmacked.

The explanation?

The new boss is coming, he wants to meet the staff.

Who was the new boss?

The Home Secretary, David Blunkett, who is of course, blind.

Hilarious.

Off Topic

I have to say he was a very impressive Boss, he had done his research and spoke to all of us, he knew something about everyone in the office.

He knew I was from Huddersfield, where he had spent some time.

When 9/11 happened, he sent a very simple message, get on with it, I will watch your backs.

He had no time for the Civil Liberties / Human Rights Brigade, said it was "airey fairy".

"My job is to protect the public, your job is to make sure I can" was so refreshing.

He reduced the number of Asylum Applications by 70% and was absolutely ruthless when it came to defending the UK.

Re: Stories to tell

Really enjoyed reading your post Swim and especially liked this line .........

My job is to protect the public, your job is to make sure I can" was so refreshing.

Re: Stories to tell

Similar to SF, a story from a pal that I'd like to share.

My pal has always said that a soldier who is not scared is either dead or a liar, this was drummed into the troops by his CO whom this story is about.

When he was going to the Falklands during the conflict his commanding officer gave his battle speech to the troops, this speech was apparently quite brilliant.
It ended with "men, this is going to test you to the limits, it's going to be rough, it's going to be tough and some of you wont be coming back, but I'm not afraid"

The troops looked at each other in dismay until one asked "Sir, why are you not scared"?

The CO paused, looked at the young soldier and said "because I'm not going with you"

Apparently it was a parody of some John Wayne speech in a film.

Re: Stories to tell

Oh dear - brought a tear to me eye that did Terry

Re: Stories to tell

Very interesting stories everyone