Making Excuses

Imagine for a moment, that you were at a party someone had gone to a lot of trouble to organise.
Imagine also, it was not your sort of thing at all. You felt like a fish out of water, hardly knew anyone, wanted to disappear, but felt guilty and didn't want to appear rude.

What would you do? Would you tell a porkie pie and leave, would you just slide off, or would you stick it out till the bitter end so as not to offend?

I told a lie today. I abhor lies. But I really didn't want to be where I was, so told a porkie and went.
Was that mean?

Re: Making Excuses

I think I would suddenly have a very bad migraine attack, make my apologies and do a quick exit...

Re: Making Excuses

No, that doesn't make you a mean person Mups, it's just sometimes you need to give yourself permission to do what YOU want and be where YOU want to be!
It's OK.

Re: Making Excuses

Mups I have been in a similar situation on many occasions and left at the first opportunity.

I just politely said 'I am sorry I have to leave now. It's been lovely, thank you so much for asking me .

I never felt the need to make anything up or to give an explanation which might sound like an excuse.

Re: Making Excuses

Thanks Mags and Ruthio, I feel a bit better now.
I did feel mean, but knew it wasn't for me and wanted to get away.

Re: Making Excuses

Not mean, just human.
I've done it a few times in the past, but nowadays I don't even go to events if I don't want to.

Re: Making Excuses

ABSOLUTELY NO WAY was it mean !!!

We can only do what we can do ... and that's it


Never feel guilty because you are are a totally inadequate whimp and a worthless individual who looks like the backside of a ? lol dunno ?

Pooooo ... in other words ... been there, dunnit and **** what the Hell !

You come over as a lovely, caring person and if people are unable to accept the way you are then they are a waste of space.

Someone of us who have empathy and are sensitive are considered weak by the 'strong' characters.

Ppppfffftttt



I HAVE SPOKEN ... SO THERE !
xxxx

Re: Making Excuses

Stay till the booze runs out - always works for me !

After a while, things invariably seem better than one first thought.

Re: Making Excuses

Well yes ... that's exactly what I meant to say

Re: Making Excuses

I went to my brother in law's family Christmas dinner for the first time 3 years ago. Over 40 people there. No one so much as acknowledged me during the 4 hours my wife and I were there.

In addition, my (Vietnamese) wife and her equally Viet sister were coerced into doing all the cooking and serving, with no help from the other (all Italian) women there. Nor was a place laid for us at any table.

In reality, my wife and her sister were just used as kitchen slaves. This just didn't work for me. We were the first to leave and, as a parting gesture, I thanked all of them for their lack of hospitality and help in the kitchen.

I later called my brother in law and told him in no uncertain terms what I thought of him and his extended family. He denied it all, but apologised for my "misunderstanding", and continues to invite my wife and I every year. To which I rudely reply, "Merry Xmas and f... you and your family".

Ok. I admit that I'm an unforgiving cretin, but I can live with that quite happily.