Philosophy for our times...

hilosophy for our times...

One tequila, two tequila, three tequila floor
Atheism is a non-prophet organisation
If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?
The main reason that Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live
I asked the saleswomen in the bookshop where the ‘self help’ section was. She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose
What if there were no hypothetical questions?
If a deaf child signs swear words, does his mother wash his hands with soap?
If a man with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?
What do you do if you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant?
Would a fly without wings be called a walk?
Why do they lock petrol station loos? Are they afraid someone will break in and clean them?
If a tortoise doesn’t have a shell, is he homeless or naked?
What was the best thing before sliced bread?
One nice thing about egotists: they don’t talk about other people
How is it possible to have a civil war?
If one synchronised swimmer drowns, do the rest drown too?
If you ate both pasta and antipasto, would you still be hungry?
Why are piles called ‘haemorrhoids’ instead of ‘assteroids’?
Why is it called the tourist season if we can’t shoot them?
If you spin an Oriental man around three times, does he become disorientated?
Can atheists get insurance against Acts of God?