Had an accident today
I was standing just outside the back door, . . I felt an uncomfortable feeling in my lower tummy which felt like wind, . . . it was not,
. . it was brown and watery, . . thank god I was at home, imagine that happening up the town or in Tescos, . . or even whilst driving,
I had no previous warning, it just happened, . . I phoned the wife, . . she was up the town, . . and asked her to get a pair of European underpants, . . I think they're called continental ones.
I shall now be known as "sh!te hawk" by all the family, .. I bet she puts an article in the local press.