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Victors Mate
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Planet Earth
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Posts: 1,471
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07-03-2015, 05:20 PM
1

New nursery rhymes

Mary had a little pig,
She kept it fat and plastered;
And when the price of pork went up,
She shot the little b******.

Mary had a little lamb.
Her father shot it dead.
Now it goes to school with her,
Between two hunks of bread.

Jack and Jill went up the hill
To have a little fun.
Stupid Jill forgot the pill
And now they have a son.

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall,
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.
All the kings' horses,
And all the kings' men.
Had scrambled eggs,
For breakfast again.

Hey diddle, diddle, the cat took a piddle,
All over the bedside clock.
The little dog laughed to see such fun.
Then died of electric shock.

Georgie Porgy pudding and pie,
Kissed the girls and made them cry.
And when the boys came out to play,
He kissed them too 'cos he was gay.

There was a little girl who had a little curl
Right in the middle of her forehead..
When she was good, she was very, very good.
But when she was bad . . ..
She got a fur coat, jewels, a waterfront condo, and a sports car.

Mary had a little sheep
And with the sheep she used to sleep
The sheep turned out to be a ram
And Mary had a little lamb
Older git
Chatterbox
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South Lincs
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07-03-2015, 05:28 PM
2

Re: New nursery rhymes

Love it
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oldbugger
Fondly Remembered
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Moray Coast, Scotland.
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07-03-2015, 05:53 PM
3

Re: New nursery rhymes

That gave me a good laugh I have to say. Especially the 5th one, fantastic!
Patsy
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UK
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07-03-2015, 06:00 PM
4

Re: New nursery rhymes

I liked the little girl that had a curl .......
clumsy
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Spain
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07-03-2015, 06:02 PM
5

Re: New nursery rhymes

The lightning flashed
The thunder crashed and all the world was shaken
The little pig curled up his tail and ran to save his bacon
Patsy
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07-03-2015, 06:07 PM
6

Re: New nursery rhymes

Originally Posted by clumsy ->
The lightning flashed
The thunder crashed and all the world was shaken
The little pig curled up his tail and ran to save his bacon
Ah - love it !
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Val J
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East Yorkshire
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07-03-2015, 06:56 PM
7

Re: New nursery rhymes

Very funny -- loved them.
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Suzuki Sue
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West Yorkshire
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07-03-2015, 07:03 PM
8

Re: New nursery rhymes

Some good one's there
Older git
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South Lincs
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07-03-2015, 07:48 PM
9

Re: New nursery rhymes

Jack and Jill went up the hill

Oh alas she was not on the pill

They got not only water

But also a daughter


Doggerel.
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Jem
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Dublin
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07-03-2015, 10:21 PM
10

Re: New nursery rhymes

One I remember from school.

Mary had a little lamb
She also had a bear
I often seen her little lamb
But I never saw her bear.
 
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