Police jokes

A lorry carrying Vicks Vapour Rub has overturned on the M1
Police say there will be no congestion for 8 hrs.

A truck carrying boxes of wigs has overturned
Police are combing the area

All the satnavs have been stolen from Bradford Police Station
Police are struggling to find Leeds

The policeman caught a man eating fireworks and batteries
He didn't know whether to charge him or let him off

Re: Police jokes

I love those silly police jokes Linda, here's another, there's a big hole in the street in the city centre, the police are still looking into it.

Re: Police jokes

A Policeman suspected that a car was being driven by a drunk driver, so he pulled it over. The driver was a foreigner.

"Excuse me, Sir, I suspect that you are drunk. Would you blow into this bag for me?"

"No, sorry" was the reply. "I have severe asthma. If I blow into the bag, I might not be able to breathe afterwards, and it might kill me."

"OK, Sir, in that case, I must ask you to come with me to the Police Station, and provide a blood sample,"

"No, sorry. Cant do that either. I suffer from haemophilia, and might bleed to death and die!"

"In that case, I must ask you to come with me to the Police Station, and provide a urine sample,"

"No, sorry, cant do that either"

"Whats your excuse this time?"

"Race relations act. No taking p**s out of foreigners"

Re: Police jokes

That's a good one FB, I'll have that all over the local tonight.

Re: Police jokes

Hope it gets a few pints bought for you!

Re: Police jokes

Apparently the local police station have had the toilet vandalised. The desk sergeant told me its become a real problem as they have nothing to go on.

Re: Police jokes

A lorry just off the docks stopped and the driver got out and banged the lorry sides then drove off. The police saw this so decided to follow.
Every few miles the same thing happened,the driver got out and banged the lorry and again drove off.
After the third time they decided to pull him over and question him which is what they did

"Excuse me sir, but we have been following you, and every so often you stop,bang the lorry sides then drive on. We were curious why you kept doing this" said the policeman

"Well" said the lorry driver" this is a 7 tonne lorry and I have 10 tons of parrots inside,and to keep the load to the correct weight I get out and bang the sides to keep them flying about"

Re: Police jokes

how do you get 5 donkeys in a police car?

answer

Two in the front, two in the back and one on top going eee-awwwww -eeeeeee- awwwwwww