I am my husbands carer

he had Bowel cancer and a bowel resection 18 months ago he now has a permanent stoma bag which he hates but he's managing ok with.
he is still having the odd check ups but he wont know if the cancer has appeared any where else until his next scan and blood tests. the illness at the moment is easier to deal with than the 'Depression' he won't go out of the door now we used to have a social life but that has all stopped since the operation. he says he's embarrassed/degraded/belittled by it all. 5 years ago he was a bouncer in a night club and kept himself fit even though he was 52 then he looked about 30 + and was always the life and soul of every party, now he's like a little old man, it's sad to see.
my dogs keep me active and sane thank dog.

Re: I am my husbands carer

Oh I am sorry to hear that liverbird it must be really hard for you ..

The internet is great isn't it ... the communication with others is so heart warming..

I know what you mean about your dog... My OH is semi disabled and has frequent off days but our little Herbie keeps him sane that and his camera.

I am a part time carer for my mum who has dememtia and it can be very taxing at times.. but thankfully I do have help from carers who also go in twice a day

Re: I am my husbands carer

It must be tough for you guys *hugs* and I can imagine what your partners feel like

I wish there was a magic wand that could fix everything :-/ I hate all the pain and suffering some of us have to go through.

Re: I am my husbands carer

I'm so sorry to hear of the stress and worry you and your husband are going through, Liverbird. It must be so hard to come to terms with anything like that...... I just hope that one day your husband will accept and be able to cope with it.

If you feel you need to talk to help lighten the load, we are always here to listen.

Take care (((hugs)))

Re: I am my husbands carer

So sorry to hear about the worrying time you are going through Liverbird-hopefully a turning point will come when your husband may be able to think positive thoughts and enjoy life as best he can. Pets are therapeutic and make good listeners as well! Thoughts are with you...........

Re: I am my husbands carer

awwww thank you everyone for your lovely replies, it's good to know I can come here to lighten the load. thank you again. and your right jj's girl the internet is great
Karen xx

Re: I am my husbands carer

Hi Karen, I know how difficult it can be looking after a sick husband, my husband became ill three weeks after our baby was born so I virtually had two babies to look after. I cared for him until he died six years later.

Your husband has been given a second chance, so sad he is not able to take advantage of this. Having a stoma is nothing to be ashamed of .

I know a lovely young girl now in her teens who was born with internal problems, these included having no external orifices. She has had a stoma and special diet all her life and it hasn't stopped her playing sport and having a normal life.


I hope your husband can overcome his depression and find some enjoyment in life once more..

Re: I am my husbands carer

thanks Meg
we have heard lots of amazing stories of others coping with stoma's etc, the youngsters are great arent they but to them it's normal, thats why they cope so well.
i feel like shaking him sometimes i've told him it's nothing to be ashamed of until i am blue in the face, but it's not ME that has the stoma. i'm sure we will get there one day. thanks again Meg xx

Re: I am my husbands carer

Do you know I am sure he will.
Something such as your husband has gone through will take a good long while to come to terms with. Hopefully as time goes on and 'everyday things' become the norm he will start to enjoy his life again to the full.
It must be hard on you as well. I hope things turn out better for you both in the future.

Re: I am my husbands carer

So sorry to see this Karen, . . I hope he and you come to terms with it, . . It's an awful disease, . . give him my regards and wish him the seasons greetings for us all here.