Slightly funny.

Summers coming, I bought a can of 'Wasp Killer', it said on the label;

'Do Not Spray Near The Eyes'

it's going to be tricky to miss them, when they fly so quickly ...

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Why a man should ever want to marry is a mystery,

why a man should want to marry two women is a bigamistery ...

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Just done the weekend food shop at my local Supermarket, it was very busy being a Friday. So I get to the till and there is this great big fat woman in front of me, when it's her turn to be served, the Checkout girl says; "Sorry about your wait",

I thought that's a bit cheeky,

I would never have got away with that ...

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My friend thinks he's smart, he said, onions are the only food that can make you cry.

So I hit him over the head with a Coconut ...

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I bought a pair of shoes off a drug dealer, dunno what he's laced them with,

but I've been trippin all day ...

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I used to date a weather girl,

it was nice to go out with a woman that wasn't right all the time ...

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First night back from holiday, couldn't be bothered to cook so we went for an Indian.

The waiter came over and said; "Curry Okay"

I said; "Go on then, just one song" ...

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my mate just dumped his cross-eyed girlfriend,

he thought she was seeing someone else ...

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I took a cab today, the driver told me;

"I love my job, I own this car, I've got my own business, I'm my own boss, NO ONE tells me what to do".

I said; "Turn left here" ...

Re: Slightly funny.