Couple of oldies but goodies.

Three dead bodies turn up at a mortuary all with very big smiles on their faces and the police call on the coroner to investigate.


"First body," says the coroner, "Pierre Dubois, Frenchman, 60, died of heart failure while making love to his 20-year old mistress. Hence the Smile,' says the Coroner.

"Second body is Gregory Campbell, Scotsman, 25, won £50,000 on the Lottery. Spent it all on whisky. Died of alcohol poisoning, hence the Smile." he says.


The Police Inspector asked, '"So what about this third body?'"

"Ah," says the coroner, "this is the most unusual one. Paddy Murphy, Irish, 30, struck by lightning."

"Why the broad grin, then?" inquires the Inspector.

"He thought he was having his picture taken".
.................................

A young man with his pants hanging half off his ass, two gold front teeth, and a half inch thick gold chain around his neck; walked into the local job centre to sign on.

He marched up to the counter and said, "Hi. You know, I just HATE drawing welfare. I'd really rather have a job.. I don't like taking advantage of the system, getting something for nothing."

The social worker behind the counter said "Your timing is excellent. We just got a job opening from a very wealthy old man who wants a chauffeur and bodyguard for his beautiful daughter. You'll have to drive around in his brand new Mercedes-Benz CL, and he will supply all of your clothes."

"Because of The long hours, meals will be provided. You'll also be expected to escort the daughter on her overseas holiday trips. This is rather awkward to say, but you will also have, as part of your job, the assignment to satisfy her sexual urges as the daughter is in her mid-20's and has a rather strong sex drive."

The guy, just plain wide-eyed, said, "You're bullshittin' me!"

The social worker said, "Yeah, well... You started it." .

Re: Couple of oldies but goodies.

Re: Couple of oldies but goodies.