Computer Skills

This ought to make you feel better about your computer skills!


Tech support: What kind of computer do you have?
Customer: A white one...
Tech support: Click on the 'my computer' icon to the left of the screen.
Customer: Your left or my left?
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Customer: Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't print. Every time I try, it says 'Can't find printer'. I've even lifted the printer and placed it in front of the monitor, but the computer still says he can't find it..
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Tech support: What's on your monitor now, ma'am?
Customer: A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me at the 7-11.
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Customer: My keyboard is not working anymore.
Tech support: Are you sure it's plugged into the computer?
Customer: No. I can't get behind the computer.
Tech support: Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back.
Customer: OK !
Tech support: Did the keyboard come with you?
Customer: Yes
Tech support: That means the keyboard is not plugged in.
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Customer: I can't get on the Internet.
Tech support: Are you sure you used the right password?
Customer: Yes, I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it.
Tech support: Can you tell me what the password was?
Customer: Five dots.
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Tech support: What anti-virus program do you use?
Customer: Netscape.
Tech support: That's not an anti-virus program.
Customer: Oh, sorry... Internet Explorer..
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Customer: I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a screen saver on my computer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears.
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Tech support: How may I help you?
Customer: I'm writing my first email.
Tech support: OK, and what seems to be the problem?
Customer: Well, I have the letter 'a' in the address, but how do I get the little circle around it?
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This one and the next are our personal favourites!
A woman customer called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer.
Tech support: Are you running it under windows?
Customer: 'No, my desk is next to the door, but that is a good point. The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window, and his printer is working fine.'
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And last but not least!
Tech support: 'Okay Bob, let's press the control and escape keys at the same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen. Now type the letter 'P' to bring up the Program Manager.'
Customer: I don't have a P.
Tech support: On your keyboard, Bob.
Customer: What do you mean?
Tech support: 'P'.....on your keyboard, Bob.
Customer: I'M NOT GOING TO DO THAT!

Re: Computer Skills

Good ones!

I had a friend who worked in IT who used the acronym PEBKAC: Problem Exists Between Keyboard and Chair and also PICNIC: Problem in Chair, Not In Computer.

Re: Computer Skills

Some people are.......ummm...........what's the word..........I remember....THICK.

Re: Computer Skills

THICK: Tremendously Hampered In Computer Knowledge?

Re: Computer Skills

brilliant very very funny

Re: Computer Skills

Good one Cookie

Re: Computer Skills

Glad you like them. I will stick up for people you refer to as thick as I am seriously hampered at times and need assistance. Maybe not so naïve as above customers but certainly a bit slow on the uptake when it came to learning puters.

Re: Computer Skills

How fabulous - just what Pats neede - a 'larf'....

Re: Computer Skills

Excellent stuff Cookie - had a chuckle at those and as you say, no matter how dim we might be with computery stuff, there are people worse than us

Re: Computer Skills

I think I should start a thread on 'Dim things you have done' I can think of one or two doooozies