Better To Be A Man Or A Woman?

Reasons why it's better to be a man:

# Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.

# You know stuff about tanks.

# A five day vacation requires only one suitcase.

# Monday Night Football.

# Your bathroom lines are 80% shorter.

# You can open all your own jars.

# Old friends don't annoy you if you've lost or gained weight.

# Dry cleaners and haircutters don't rob you blind.

# When clicking through the channel, you don't have to stall on every shot of someone crying.

# A beer gut does not make you invisible to the opposite sex.

# Guys in hockey masks don't attack you.

# You don't have to lug a bag of useful stuff around everywhere you go.

# You can go to the bathroom without a support group.

# Your last name stays put.

# You can leave a hotel bed unmade.

# When your work is criticized, you don't have to panic that everyone secretly hates you.

# You can kill your own food.

# The garage is all yours.

# You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.

# You see the humor in Terms of Endearment.

# You never have to clean the toilet.

# You can be showered and ready in 10 minutes.

# Wedding plans take care of themselves.

# If someone forgets to invite you to something, he or she can still be your friend.

# Your underwear is $10 for a three pack.

# None of your co-workers have the power to make you cry.

# You don't have to shave below your neck.

# If you're 34 and single nobody notices.

# Everything on your face stays its original color.

# Chocolate is just another snack.

# You can be president.

# Flowers fix everything.

# You never have to worry about other people's feelings.

# You can wear a white shirt to a water park.

# Three pair of shoes are more than enough.

# You can eat a banana in a hardware store.

# You can say anything and not worry about what people think.

# Michael Bolton doesn't live in your universe.

# You can whip your shirt off on a hot day.

# You don't have to clean your apartment if the meter reader is coming by.

# Car mechanics tell you the truth.

# You don't care if no-one notices your new haircut.

# You can watch a game in silence with your buddy for hours without even thinking: He must be mad at me.

# You never misconstrue innocuous statements to mean your lover is about to leave you.

# You get to jump up and slap stuff.

# One mood, all the time.

# You can admire Clint Eastwood without starving yourself to look like him.

# You know at least 20 ways to open a beer bottle.

# Same work....more pay.

# Gray hair and wrinkles add character.

# You don't care if someone is talking about you behind your back.

# You don't mooch off others' desserts.

# The remote is yours and yours alone.

# People never glance at your chest when you're talking to them.

# You can drop by to see a friend without bringing a little gift.

# You have a normal and healthy relationship with your mother.

# You needn't pretend you're "freshening up" to go to the bathroom.

# If you don't call your buddy when you say you will, he won't tell your friends you've changed.

# Someday you'll be a dirty old man.

# If another guy shows up at the party in the same outfit, you might become lifelong buddies.

# Princess Di's death was almost just another obituary.

# If something mechanical didn't work, you can bash it with a hammer and throw it across the room.

# New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.

# You don't have to remember everyone's birthdays and anniversaries.

# Your pals can be trusted never to trap you with: "So... notice anything different?"

# Baywatch

# There is always a game on somewhere.

Re: Better To Be A Man Or A Woman?

....lucky 'so and so's'.....

Re: Better To Be A Man Or A Woman?

I know - just waiting now to see if there are any to posted about women having it better

Right, I shall have to be off before the wheel rim goes through the tyre completely! Catch you later Pats

Re: Better To Be A Man Or A Woman?

Mmmm - like to see that

Re: Better To Be A Man Or A Woman?

I dont even understand half the the sentances.... but then im a tomboy

Re: Better To Be A Man Or A Woman?

Women can fake orgasm, blokes can't.

Re: Better To Be A Man Or A Woman?

Just waiting now to see if there are any to post about women having it better

ben-varrey
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Reasons Why It’s Better to Be a Woman

When you get back from a date, your friends don’t ask if you ‘scored’ or not.

You don’t have to worry about the person at the next toilet looking at your genitals.

Maternity leave.

You can get out of speeding tickets.
We can cry and get off speeding fines.

Strange guys in bars will buy you drinks.

You can sue for sexual harassment and not get made fun of.

You dominate fashion magazine covers.

Artists will cut off their left ear for you.

People will try to assassinate presidents for you.

You get couches in your public restrooms.

It’s okay to like opera.

It’s okay to like ballet.

It’s okay to like art.

You can’t be drafted.

If you don’t like sports, that’s okay.

If you are sensitive, and no one thinks you’re gay.

You don’t have to worry about pi**ing on your shoes.

Guys will pay for everything.(usually)

You don’t have to worry about asking guys out on dates, you can just wait for the guys to come to you.

You get to be in ads for the best brands of beer.

You smell better.

Society deems you the “gentle gender.”

You aren’t expected to know anything about cars.

You’re allowed to cry.

You’re allowed to have stuffed animals.

You’re allowed to carry a bag with all the stuff you may need for an outing.

Male store clerks rush to your assistance.

Strangers will stop to help you change a flat.

You can walk through the lingerie section of a store and not feel awkward.

Guys think you look good even without makeup or in sweats (really.)

The less you wear, the more popular you become.

You can stay home all day and live off your spouse without being deemed a lazy bum.

You don’t have to mow the lawn.

You are never asked to kill a spider.

You never have to fix anything around the house.

You're never asked to open jars.

If you go to the bathroom in pairs or groups, no one thinks you’re gay.

No one ever knows when you break wind.

You can leave your boyfriend for any reason, and everyone will take your side.

Naked women are beautiful, naked men are hideous.

You get to blame mood swings on your period no matter what time of the month it is.

You never have to worry if the people in your gym locker room are checking you out.

You can dance with someone of the same sex and not be labeled as gay.

You can have guy friends and not worry about what people think.

If your man is sick in bed, you don’t have to go buy him feminine hygiene products.

You don’t have to worry about what your friends think your boyfriend looks like – they will judge him on personality, not looks.

If you get into a fight your friends will help you.

You can wear boxers, a sweater, and a cap to an early morning college class and still look damn good.

Your friends are supportive when you’re single and depressed about it.

Fifty dates equals fifty free dinners and/or movies.

One word: Alimony.

You don’t have to ogle…a quick glance will suffice for you.

You don’t have to build the courage to ask someone out, plan the evening, pay for it, and call in a few days to hope that person is interested in doing something with you a second time.

You don’t have to play mind games with the person you go out with in order to find out whether he likes you or not - you're a woman, of course he likes you.

You never have to worry about meeting the parents - they will love you no matter what, they're just glad their son's taking an interest in girls.

You rarely have to worry about saying just the right thing at just the right time in order to prevent a fight you never knew was coming – in short, you plan all the fights: what they are about, when they will start, and when you will forgive him. Which is immediately after the flowers.

Your friends don’t treat sex as a sport that you must participate in as often as possible.

When you’re introducing your new boyfriend to your parents, your friends don’t worry that you’re getting too involved.

You don’t have to keep track of your boyfriend’s haircut.

You’re never expected or asked to move heavy or large objects.

Guys don't care if you're coming out of a relationship - women look at a guy on the rebound like cancer.

You’ll probably know well in advance if your boyfriend is ready to dump you. (i.e. you aren’t dumped quickly and unexpectedly, nor replaced in the same manner)

You’re not excused for being blunt, thoughtless, having or discussing meaningless sex, or anything else people find in social distaste about you with the phrase “It’s okay, you’re a guy.”

People don’t think you have an inflated ego if you drive an expensive sports car.

You can look below a guy’s chin and not be perverted.

Every guy on the planet likes it when women check them out – women act like guys checking them out are creeps.

Speaking of which, you get to wear skimpy outfits and no one thinks you’re a show-off. It’s just fashion.

You can make as many close friends with the opposite sex as you want.

You can put up with small children, if fact, you enjoy them.

Guys are always willing to give a chick their coat in the cold.

It’s no problem finding someone to dance with you at a club.

You don’t have to wear a condom.

You can have sex anytime, anywhere, with anyone you want.

We got off the Titanic first.

We get to flirt with systems support men who always return our calls, and are nice to us when we blow up our computers.

We can be groupies. Male groupies are stalkers.

Taxis stop for us.

Men die earlier, so we get to cash in on the life insurance.

We don't look like a frog in a blender when dancing.

New lipstick gives us a whole new lease on life.

It's possible to live our whole lives without ever taking a group shower.

We don't have to fart to amuse ourselves.

If we forget to shave, no one has to know.

We can congratulate our team-mate without ever touching her butt.

If we have a zit, we know how to conceal it.

If we're dumb, some people will find it cute.

We have the ability to dress ourselves.

We can talk to people of the opposite sex without having to picture them naked.

If we marry someone 20 years younger, we're aware that we look like an idiot.

Our friends won't think we're weird if we ask whether there's spinach in our teeth.

There are times when chocolate really can solve all your problems.

We'll never regret piercing our ears.

We can fully assess a person just by looking at their shoes.

We know which glass was ours by the lipstick mark.

We have enough sense to realize that the easiest way to get out of being lost is to ask for directions.
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Re: Better To Be A Man Or A Woman?

Well done Michael - 'some' truth there....some of it just plain 'ridic' and lame....

Re: Better To Be A Man Or A Woman?

Touche Michael - I knew you wouldn't let me down

A good job well done as well I might add