am i to old

can anyone out there tell me iff i'm just being a "victor meldrew" or do i seriously need to re-acces my life? i'm 60
living with my partner (female) but she has 2 teenagers driving me round the wall,life is to short,so i'm pre-pared to leave my mrs and enjoy what life has to offer? p.s, my mrs is 56yrs old.

Re: am i to old

I don't know how you are getting on with your partner. It seems a very drastic move.

Re: am i to old

I understand your frustration. Is there any sign these kids will move out on their own in a few years? Might be worth waiting til they do and then perhaps you and your partner can rebuild your relationship and have many good years together.

My partner's 2 teens were a real problem when we all lived together and even he admitted that he loved them as their father but didn't like the kind of people they were growing up to be. As it turned out we lost our business and our house a few months ago. The kids went to live with their mother, I accepted my daughter's offer to move in and my OH is making do as best he can on his own. We do plan to get together again but I made it clear I will not ever under any circumstances live with his kids again. I'm 59 and he is 41. My kids were out of the nest before we met.

Re: am i to old

The fact that you are considering it seems to indicate the relationship is not very deep. Have you talked to your partner about this? If they are teens are they are 18 or above? perhaps it is time they made their own way in the world. There seems to be a few angles you can take but I think the worst thing would be to let it fester that way resentment lies.

I was your age when I retired and by then an empty nester, I have to say that I love being single and living alone. Anyway I am probably too set in my nihilistic ways now for a live in partner.

Re: am i to old

Glyn matey, seems that these kids are unruly, noisy and downright disobedient - am I right??? If I am then a good dose of stern discipline from you and/or your OH is about to become timely. One or other of you need to draw up a set of 'ground rules' for these kids to obey and spell out to them the consequences of them breaking those rules (in my day I received a clip round the ear from either George or Dragon). Once the agreed rules are drawn up, a family conference to inform these kids of the rules and what behaviour is now expected of them and the consequences to them of what is likely to happen if they 'step over the traces'. Do NOT use 'idle' threats, but PROMISES and be prepared to carry out those promises.

Re: am i to old

Feel sorry for you glnwelsh. I am over 60 and I cant stand the noise of kids all day long. Saying that I brought two sons up by myself. I think when you get older your patience does seem to wain.
I think you should be able to sit in your house with some peace and quiet.
As UJ has mentioned we used to get a clip around the ear hole if we misbehaved in the house. That was because the boss of the house was my Mother or Father. Seems that their Mother is not doing the thing she should by telling her kids to behave and be quiet. If you do it all the time you will look to be the baddie. I think you need to sit down with your wife and tell her these things and then get the kids in and on a joint decision tell them both what they can and cant do for everyones sake. Hope it goes well for you, but dont leave until you have tried to resolve the problem as you might regret it. Good Luck

Re: am i to old

I love my Grandchildren to bits and would give my life for them, would I live with them No bloody chance, having said that they behave completely differently at my house or at their own if they catch my eye. They argue with each other constantly, they're noisy,they play fight with their father (my son) they're 15,13 and 12 and the last one's a girl. They know what they can get away with at home and are continually testing the boundaries, whereas they know my boundaries won't change. Do I take it you've not had children of your own and you've not been with your partner very long (as in you've not been part of bringing them up). I think you'd be better off out of it, cos it doesn't get any easier and they may be around forever.

Re: am i to old

Yeah gin, they're right i think, if you're considering moving out then it may be best to just tell your partner that you feel you're not making the most of these later years and need some space to be yourself, you never know ,you could end up being better friends/ lovers if you're not living together and I'm sure your lady feels the tension too, good luck

Re: am i to old

thanks everyone for your advice, yes i have 2 daughers of my own (38+34) both flown the nest when in their 20's, far more independent than my partners girls (20+18), i've read the riot act to them,threatened to throw them out,even asked the grandparents to have them,but all to no avail,the air in our home is very tense when the girls are about,ok when just the 2 of us,so i can see it coming to a head soon!

Re: am i to old

I am not one to give advice, having made a mess of a 'few' years You don't seem that bothered about your partner, if you can, move out, if she is serious, she will follow and you will both live happy ever after