Punography

Some old and some new?
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Punography:

·I tried to catch some fog. I mist.

·When chemists die, they barium.

·Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.

·I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop any time.

·How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it.

·I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.

·This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I'd never met herbivore.

·I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I can't put it down.

·I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words .

·They told me I had type A blood, but it was a type-O.

·A dyslexic man walks into a bra .

·PMS jokes aren't funny, period.

·Why were the Indians here first? They had reservations.

·Class trip to the Coca-Cola factory-- I hope there's no pop quiz.

·The Energizer bunny arrested and charged with battery.

·The old man didn't like his beard at first. Then it grew on him.

·Did you hear about the cross eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn't control her pupils?

·When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.

·What does a clock do when it's hungry? It goes back four seconds.

·I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me!

·Broken pencils are pointless.

·What do you call a dinosaur with a extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.

·England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool .

·I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.

·All the toilets in New York 's police stations have been stolen. Police have nothing to go on.

·I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.

·Velcro - what a rip off!

·Cartoonist found dead in home. Details are sketchy.

·Venison for dinner? Oh deer!

·Earthquake in Washington obviously government's fault.

·I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not so sure.
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Re: Punography

Cartoonist found dead at home - details are sketchy......I could go on.................

Re: Punography

Very amusing Michael.

Re: Punography

I love puns and I'm an avid fan of Stuart Francis because of his being the punmaster.

A couple of contributions:

I see exit signs are on the way out.

What's the point of rhetorical questions

Atheism is a non-prophet organsation

I was goiing to buy a book on phobias but I was afraid it wouldn't help me

Re: Punography

Really good Karen.....

Re: Punography

I only snore when you are awake!

Re: Punography

Ooh, you shouldn't encourage me too late, here's another:

If there's one rule of grammar it's that double negatives are a no-no

I gave up my job at the helium balloon factory; I refuse to be spoken to in that tone

I've never been able to spell armagedon but it's not the end of the world