22-12-2012, 06:05 AM
1
Sharing Grown Children is lopsided
New here. Hope I do this correctly.OK, so the holidays are upon us and one of my daughters is flying in from San Fran, Ca. to share precious time with her sister and me. My youngest has a boyfriend whose family is ALWAYS planning something as opposed to mine having very few and far between meet-ups. Well, this year is no different from the last 5 in that she will be attending functions on "his side" of the family. This year, her boyfriend's step-mom's aunt's sister-in-law has her commitment to be present on Christmas. That her own sister and brother-in-law will be with me and her own two sisters doesn't count. And I think that stinks. I feel like I've lost a daughter and that hurts. And I'm not giving her a present this year because, well, I'm immature. Blah.
22-12-2012, 08:54 AM
3
Re: Sharing Grown Children is lopsided
Christmas is supposed to be about caring and sharing Lizzie, but unfortunately that includes one's offspring once they've flown the nest, so don't fall out with her but work the long game and invite her now for your next year's special Christmas event. She's obviously a popular lady, but so can you be I'll bet....
22-12-2012, 01:44 PM
4
Re: Sharing Grown Children is lopsided
Our son does year and year about, with us and his wife's family.This year he's at theirs but will be over the day after with us, for another christmas dinner! Our daughter likes a holiday abroad every couple of years. So.....we all meet up here about once in every four or five years.
We really don't mind. It's all about compromise Lizzie, wish her a great holiday, send her present on and let her know you will be thinking of her.
22-12-2012, 05:07 PM
5
Re: Sharing Grown Children is lopsided
My married Daughter always comes to us at Christmas with her husband and two kids, it's their own choice, my Son, who's wife is from Rome, spends one Christmas in Rome and the next one at home with us. the way I see it is they have their own Families now and can do whatever they wish at festive times, if they chose to stay at home or keep going to 'The other side' that would be their own doing and we would respect their choice, we as their parents slowly fade into the background, that's perfectly natural and we accept it.
23-12-2012, 12:57 AM
9
Re: Sharing Grown Children is lopsided
I am a member of a family of 10. Some are now deceased but always remembered. Each of us trade off years so as not to feign favoritism. Then families usually start their own traditions and become the hosts. It's called building a tradition. My beginning post was more of a rant than anything else.Really it's a matter of being out-numbered and when one side of the "family" claims and expects participation each and every year...I was just stating that I thought that was pretty egocentrical. Ultimately, it's their choice - I was just whining about being alone holiday after holiday.
23-12-2012, 10:05 AM
10
Re: Sharing Grown Children is lopsided
I can relate to the sadness you feel Lizzie but try not to give up hope that things can change, keep inviting her regardless and try not to fall out with her over her apparent thoughtlessness...
My eldest daughter has not visited us for Christmas Day for over 25 years, as she has always hosted her mother (my first wife), who comes over from Wales for the holiday. This year however, her mother has a new job and will have to work Christmas, so my daughter and her family are finally coming to us for the day....so as the old adage goes, "all good things come to he who waits"...
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