Just a few smiles.

JUST A FEW SMILES.

Police have spoken to Freddie Starr's 34 year old fiance and she has said She has never had reason to think he was a paedophile in all their 25 years
Together !!!!

After queuing up at the Tesco checkout this morning, Jock McDonald said to the
Cashier, "Can you do this any cheaper?"
"I'm afraid not," she replied, "If we did it for you then we'd have to do it
For everybody."
Jock said, "Aye, but it's got today's date on it. If nobody buys it
Then it's just going to get thrown away."
"Look sir, you're holding up the queue. Do you want the newspaper or not?!"

7 wheelchair athletes have been banned from the Paralympics after they
Tested positive for WD40

A mummy covered in chocolate and nuts has been discovered in Egypt
Archaeologists believe it may be Pharaoh Roche...

Just A Reminder to those who stole Electrical Goods in Last Years
Riots....Your One Year Manufacturers Warranty has run out.

ITS A BOY" I shouted "A BOY, I DON'T BELIEVE IT, ITS A BOY"
And with tears streaming down my face I swore I'd never visit another Thai
Brothel!!!

2 Indian junkies accidently snorted curry powder instead of cocaine .
Both in hospital...one's in a korma.. The other's got a dodgy tikka!

In the first few days of the Olympics the Romanians took gold, silver, bronze,
Copper, lead and anything else they could get their bloody hands on.

Sailing results are in, GB took gold, USA took silver and Somalia took a
Middle aged couple from Weymouth.

A Englishman has started his own business in Afghanistan ! He is making land
Mines that look like prayer mats! Its doing well! Prophets are going through
The roof !