24-10-2012, 07:43 PM
1
a few witty quips
1-2- The wife suggested I get myself one of those penis enlargers, so I did .... she's 21 and her name's Lucy.
3- Went to the pub with my girlfriend last night. Locals were shouting "pedophile!" and other names at me, just because my girlfriend is 21 and I'm 50. It completely spoiled our 10th anniversary.
4- My son was thrown out of school today for letting a girl in his class give him a hand-job. I said "Son, that's 3 schools this year! You'd better stop before you're banned from teaching altogether."
5- Question - Are there too many immigrants in Britain ? 17% said yes; 11% said No; 72% said "I am not understanding the question please."
6- The cost of living has now gotten so bad that my wife is having sex with me because she can't afford batteries.
7- A man calls 911 and says "I think my wife is dead". The operator says, "How do you know?" He says "The sex is about the same, but the laundry is piling up!"
8- I was explaining to my wife last night that when you die you get reincarnated but must come back as a different creature. She said she would like to come back as a cow. I said, "You obviously haven't been listening."
9- My wife has been missing a week now. The police said to prepare for the worst. So, I had to go down to Goodwill to get all of her clothes back.
10- There's a new mideastern clothing shop that opened in our shopping center, but they threw me out after I asked if I could look at some of the bomber jackets.
11- The Red Cross just knocked on my door and asked if we could contribute towards the floods in Asia . I said we'd love to, but our garden hose only reaches to the driveway
Politically Correct My Ass....have a great day!!!!
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