Re: Loss of a spouse

My granddad didn't last long after my nan died, he was fully able to cook and look after himself but just gave up, he just couldn't face life without her. I always think my nan may have coped better. Both loved each other, were devoted but my nan was bossy determined lady who ran their lives, told granddad when to book a holiday, when to go to bed, what to wear etc he loved it ! Just loved being bossed about !

Their different characters and attitudes were what made them ideal for each other but also made my grandad miss her so much his heart pretty much broke when she died.

He kept going missing I used to get a call from his neighbour he hadn't come home again, I'd walk down to the crematorium and find him sitting by her rose, had been there all night

Re: Loss of a spouse

It could be down to the fact that in general, woman have more friends than men to pull them out of the misery of losing a partner.

Re: Loss of a spouse

we believe in the added bonus of teamwork. Fifty years is a long time to practice this, but very fruitful in terms of relationship. So when one of us goes, the remaining one will cope.

Re: Loss of a spouse

Why do men die younger than Women, because they want to

Re: Loss of a spouse

I was only? 57 when I lost Jenny,it`s not always been an easy road and I still miss her. But would she want me to give in? I think not. An old lady said to me after Jen`s funeral `your life has changed forever,it will hurt but you will do things now that you might not have done`

Re: Loss of a spouse

This is what I feel also. In fact it's true in my case.

Re: Loss of a spouse

What a lovely thing to say to somebody who is grieving!
I think that many, who have become dependent on their partner just give up rather than find a different life.
I do believe that, when your life dramatically changes, we all need to talk to somebody we trust and men are often not as able to share their emotional thoughts with others.

Re: Loss of a spouse

Just a thought do women ask for help more than men ? I have a feeling we are more likely to say we can't cope and seek help whereas men may just not do that.

Re: Loss of a spouse

I think that might be true Julie. We know that men are stubborn when it comes to asking for help or advice.

Re: Loss of a spouse

That is what I thought too!