Last Friday's Date with Disaster(last day on the Costa
Some of you were aware that I was going on a date with a female ex-pat I'd met on the plane. I've had a couple of emails and messages asking how it went, so here goes.
The date proper was arranged for Friday night but as some friends and I had arranged a Friday afternoon at the villa I was staying in I invited her to this. My plan was to see how we got on in a relaxed, not so serious environment before investing(time) in a proper date later that evening.
The day went great, we got on very well and there appeared to be a mutual attraction, a good start.
I'll rewind a little at this point in an attempt to set the scene.
A couple of days earlier I'd met a couple of ladies through mutual friends at a party, my friends had told them of the planned date and how I was a tad nervous at the thought of going out with a total stranger.
Well, these ladies were so sweet, paying me compliments all evening(I did advise a visit to Spec-Savers) and it worked, my confidence needed a boost and it got one.
Fast forward to the date: I arrived at her home by taxi and we set off for a nice restaurant, at first it started off very well but, after a short while it seemed to fizzle out.....I was bored. She was shallow and the conversation rarely hit on topics that didn't involve her and if it did she brought it back around to her. At one point I swear I nodded off
After the meal I hinted at being tired, that I'd have to be up early and an early night was in order(it was about 22.30grs by now).
I ordered a taxi and headed for her home to drop her off. Upon our arrival she invited me in, said she'd run me home and to the airport if I wanted to stay...... I made my excuses and carried on with my journey........home? Nah, I knew of a get together at the local Irish bar.....was I tired? No, I'd lied
The get together was in full swing and I was soon into party mode, the drinks and laughter flowed and I soon found myself wedged between the two lovely ladies I mentioned earlier
After an hour or so I heard a voice shout "you bastard" sh*t, it was my date from hell......she continued with the tirade of abuse and pointed out "Ha, you're sat between two dykes, you're barking up the wrong tree, you bastid"
Now, I knew these two ladies were lesbians and that a few people in the bar were gay, not a problem....so I stood up, faced my two lady friends and shouted "what, you're gay? I thought you said you were Thespians" I then turned to my date from hell and said "I'm so sorry, I suppose a BJ is out of the question?" At which point I got a left hook and she stomped off.
I got a round of applause, a hug off my lady friends and the party continued.......what a great night I had and a lucky near miss