Open Letter to Santa Claus
Dear Santa Baby..
This has been a year full of challanges. But, despite all the crap that was thrown at me, I think I have been a good boy this year. I did not go out of my way to bullshit anyone as far as bullshit goes.So, I expect you will not take it upon yourself to leave me coals as a gift. Although fuel prices the way they are it might in the end not be a bad idea.
I will confess to you that I am a bit pissed off at you because my letters or requests have been ignored. Man to man, Santa Baby, I do hope this year you will make an exception.So, I have high hopes that you will jam something worthwhile in my smelly stocking this year.
So, what do I want for Christmas this year ? Desperate as I am, I will say, peace and goodwill for all the nations of the world. You are not buying that, are you ? Don't bullshit a bullshitter, right ? So, let me keep it real..
What do I really want for Christmas ? Its quite simple. Some earplugs so I can block out all the complaints, whines and insults I hear on a daily basis. I'd also like a sturdy object to cram up the ass of my cat so it stops crapping on my bed. And last but not least, money, lots of money. That should not be too difficult for you, in the long run its just paper.
In closing, I do hope you find yourself my way this coming season. If you don't show up, trust me when I say, that I will not believe your fantasy trip anymore. If you do exist, you need to re-target the market to include a more mature demographic. Because if you haven't noticed, its not the kids that keep you in business its the adults.And really, it wouldn't be hard to find someone else to put on a dumb ass red suit, stick on a beard and work one day a year. Get what I'm saying, Gramps !
Sorry for my bad language and tough honesty I am just trying to reach you Santa. So yeah, all the best, Merry Christmas and all that good stuff.
Rodolfo