22-09-2011, 07:42 PM
1
Shopping
MY LAST TRIP TO COSTCOYesterday I was at my local COSTCO buying a large bag of Purina
dog chow for my loyal pet, Jake, the Wonder Dog and was in the
check-out line when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog.
What did she think I had an elephant? So since I'm retired and
have little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I
was starting the Purina Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn't, because I ended up in
the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened
in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my
orifices and IVs in both arms.
I told her that it was essentially a Perfect Diet and that the way that
it works is, to load your pants pockets with Purina Nuggets and simply
eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it
works well and I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here
that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story.)
Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care, because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I stepped off a curb to sniff a
poodle's ass and a car hit me.
I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he
was Laughing so hard.
Costco won't let me shop there anymore.
Better watch what you ask retired people. They have all the time in
the World to think of crazy things to say. Forward this (especially)to all your retired friends...... it will be their laugh for the day!!!
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