Re: National bowel cancer screening
I did one last year. Not an easy or pleasant thing to do, nor any pleasant way of describing the procedure ...but certainly worth the bother.
You have to give 3 samples taken on different days. I found samples were best taken by getting a small amount of poo onto some toilet tissue. Then scraping a very small portion of that up onto one of the cardboard spatulas provided.
The spatulas are peeled from a cardboard backing. Once the sample has been taken, the spatula is then goes back into place on part of the cardboard it came from. It can all be done fairly hygienically with care. Perhaps buy some surgical gloves if the thought taking a sample is off-putting. Repeat for the different days. Once the test is complete, it gets sealed into an envelope and sent back via normal post.
Planning the 'small amount' on the toilet tissue is perhaps the most difficult part. There is no strict time limit on the test though and the samples don't have to be taken on consecutive days, so you can wait for conditions to be right for catching a small amount. I found it best to put the toilet tissue and small amount straight down onto the floor. This gives a solid surface for using the spatula. Maybe more hygienic than putting it on the china-ware and no danger of it falling anywhere.
My test was thankfully clear.
Edit: It might have been longer ago than last year.