Grief and Sadness
My sister has been gone 5 years on 7th November and I am still suffering with overwhelming grief. I am wondering if I am ever going to get other her death.
She and I were incredibly close, and, while I try my best to get on with my life I have never been the same person since she died. I literally feel like she took a piece of my heart with her.
For some reason today I have been overwhelmed more than usual, I usually feel like I do today on milestones such as her birthday or anniversary of her death so I don't know why I am feeling as I am today.
So now I've done a stupid thing and I decided to look through my messages from her on facebook messenger to read messages between us both and the messages are so loving. Her last words on there for me was:
night Sis, Love you lots, like jelly tots
xxxxxxxxxxxx love you xxxxxxxxxxx
Why have I just tortured myself, why did I go to read the messages, especially today of all days when I'm already overwhelmed.
Anyway I've just sent her a message telling her how I will never stop loving her and to give mummy a kiss for me.
Today I'm feeling dreadfully and overwhelmingly sad. I keep thinking I'm coping then out of the blue it hits me like a ton of bricks.
It's true what they say, it comes in waves, today that wave is tidal.
I am so glad the final messages between us were so full of love.
I don't know why I'm telling you all this but thanks for listening anyway.