Yes, I was quite impressed and kept telling him what a good boy he was (even though I wanted him to stop barking).

Longie, that was some episode in the middle of the night. Thank goodness you had Murtagh to draw attention to the drunkard.
You neglected to share with us exactly which closet you were hiding in the whole time in case the rascal decided to enter your home. Were you upstairs and quivering or downstairs and deciding which window to jump out of if he came in? Come on, now, you can share. I'd really like to know.

Was that the drunk or the dog LD!!

Aha. So it was you this time was it Vlad?
Good night was it?

I thought it sounded like LD up to no good again.
Us and poor Mrs. LD have all told him about his behaviour many times in the past.

It all goes to make life interesting.

Just as I was about to hop into bed last night, Murtagh suddenly started howling like a wolf. I hurried down the stairs to see what the problem was (it was almost midnight) and it turns out there was a man just outside the house 'slightly' the worse for wear; actually he was a lot the worse for wear and was lying in the road with his rucksack and a large bottle of beer beside him. I think he must have bumped into our window which would explain Murtah's howling.

As far as I could see, there was no way he was going to get up unaided, although he did manage to keep his bottle of beer upright throughout. I tried ringing 101 but they were too busy to answer so ended up ringing 999. They asked a few questions such as was the road busy at that time, did I know him and could I give a description.

Anyway, they decided that he might be a danger to himself and said they would send a car. Murtagh was barking the whole way through all this. Eventually, the goatee bearded drunk managed to sit upright and after much searching through his rucksack (opening and closing zips etc) he found his mobile phone.

So there he was, sat in the middle of the road, drunkenly punching numbers into his phone, getting the wrong person several times and politely telling them to F*** off.

Then the inevitable happened, the bugger stood up, had a wee, had a swig of his beer and staggered off up the road. He did stop briefly to aim his phone towards the night sky, perhaps he was trying to video the stars or something, then he disappeared around the corner.

Obviously no police had arrived yet, so I had to ring them back and tell them the good news. I have no idea how far he got last night, whether he made it home in one piece or whether the cops were called again but one thing I am sure about, he didn't spill one drop of his beer.

At least you did the right thing by dialling 999, I would probably have gone out to him, with a pillow and duvet as well as dialling 999...