Re: Respect of persons

I don't go to a lot of work's night out's, but you can bet your bottom dollar that you'll hear all about it anyway. Folk comes back tittle tattling about who did what, who drank what, who said what to who, who wore what. It irritates me.

I think that it's good sometimes to put a dividing line between working and socialising. Maybe a Christmas night out, but I'm not too interested in anything else.

I'm usually the last to hear things because I'm not into gossiping. I hear lots of bits and pieces and would never dream of passing them on. If I ever make a derogatory comment at work then people are always shocked and say well it must be bad if you feel like that Myra!! It's all too superficial for me and I much prefer my friends outwith work.

By coincidence I had two of my friends over last night for a glass of wine and catch up. We were agreeing that a bunch of women in the workplace can make for a very bitchy one. I don't want grouped in with that.

Re: Respect of persons

The last time I went to a work lunch out was with 5 colleagues. Three of them were well paid and single the other lesser mortal like myself was not well paid.
I couldn't afford much so along with another person had soup, a roll and a soft drink.
The other three had a full meal and alcoholic drinks.
When it came to paying I thought we would all pay our own but no, the senior member of staff said she would get the bill and when she returned to the table split the bill equally between 5 .
Now I am not a mean person but as a widow with a son at university at that time I really did not want to spend that much money.
I couldn't say anything without looking mean, neither could my colleague who ate little too.

That was the last time I went out with work colleagues.

Re: Respect of persons

I too used to be put in that position Meg where if you went out for a meal I always bought what I could afford, as I lived on my own and did not earn much money, and you could bet your life by the end of it they split the bill between the group, in those days I was always too shy to speak up, but i soon learnt to get my purse out and put the amount i needed to on the table.

It didn't go down very well but hey its my money.

Re: Respect of persons

Shirley I only went the once . Never again .
I would not be so thoughtless as to expect others to subsidise my meal

Re: Respect of persons

Yes, it's okay for some folk who are well off. They don't have a clue what it's like to have to be watching your money. I've been in the same boat. When I first joined my walking group, after the walks we all went to the pub. They used to take turns in buying rounds of drinks. I was skint and in a homeless unit at that time and had to watch every penny. I told them I would buy my own. Which I did. I didn't want to look miserable, but I just couldn't afford it, but also wanted to join in with the rest of them after the walk. I'm better off now than I was, but remember what it was like to be in a different position from them financially.

If I'm at a lunch, etc. then I go out of my way to make sure no one spends more than they've had to. It's very unfair if some folk are having a three courser and knocking back the drinks and others are sitting with a coke and bowl of soup!!

Re: Respect of persons

..people can be very thoughtless Alice ..

Re: Respect of persons

Cliques are a fact of life in the workplace. I've seen them everywhere I've worked in the last 40 years... I've not participated in a single one, preferring to have one or two friends at work and leaving the nights out and socializing to others. I don't believe I have ever gone to an extracurricular after work activity. It's just not my thing. Sometimes I was asked out of courtesy... sometimes not because they knew I wouldn't go anyway. The bad thing about cliques is that they can get mean. I have personally done battle with a few.... and won. These people are nothing alone, and need their posse with them to feel really brave. Like most bullies I may add.

Re: Respect of persons

I always bankrolled any of my mates who couldn't afford to come on a night out, never let anyone be left out, doubt they would have reciprocated, fortunately, I was never in such a position to find out.

Re: Respect of persons

Here's a motto for those of us who don't feel the need to be part of the 'in crowd'

We don't need a clique because we're unique.

Re: Respect of persons

I also think that when you are young, there seems to be more of a need to be part of the "in crowd".. As we age, we learn that we don't really need that.. we are more comfortable in our own skin and less insecure. I prefer to be my own clique..