18-01-2016, 09:05 AM
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News Flashes
News flashes:Now on sale at IKEA - beds for lesbians: no nuts or screwing involved, it's all tongue and groove.
A Muslim has been shot with a starting pistol; police say it's definitely race related.
I got a letter from Screw Fix Direct thanking me for my interest, but explaining they were not a dating agency.
Such an unfair world. When a man talks dirty to a woman its considered sexual harassment. When a woman talks dirty to a man its £2.50/min (charges may vary)
Got stopped in the street outside Boots today by a woman with a clipboard asking "What products do you use for grooming?" She was a bit taken aback when I replied, "Facebook".
Just booked a table for Valentine's Day for me and the wife. Bound to end in tears though - she's crap at snooker.
They say that sex is the best form of exercise. Now correct me if I'm wrong but I don't think 2 minutes and 15 seconds every 6 months is going to shift this beer belly.
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