Back after a week with Mum.

Hi Everyone, I'm just back after a week looking after Mum. She is ninety one and lovely but just a tad confused. She also spirits things away! Money, her specs, the kitchen scissors, the telephone etc, etc, etc. You end up feeling as if you are in an alternative universe. However I count myself lucky to still have a Mum at my age and coming from a large family we all share the care.

Re: Back after a week with Mum.

Lovely post Moira M ......
Just relax and unwind now, Mum would want that .....

Re: Back after a week with Mum.

Thanks Pat. I'd like to know how other members cope with aged relatives, not everyone has siblings able to share the responsibility which must be difficult.

Re: Back after a week with Mum.

Welcome back Moira.

Frustrating coping with aged relatives, thought i'd finished that when Mum died - how wrong I was , now we have another contender and not even closely related!!

Re: Back after a week with Mum.

Hi Moira welcome back, you must be ready for a rest now.

Re: Back after a week with Mum.

You're lucky that all the family shares the care Moira, my Mum is 92 and me being the only girl with two brothers you find the boys don't do so much. It's hard as I'm not upto much health wise and even though Mum has a live in carer there are still things that the family have to do to help. If you're fit and healthy fine but if you're not you're still expected to do your bit! Trouble is when your parents are at that age the children are alot older.

Yes I know she's my Mum but sometimes they can expect too much of you if you're not too good yourself!!! That's all I'm going to say on the subject.

Re: Back after a week with Mum.

You can only do as much as you can, I wouldn't have been up to coping with them now. My sister in law suggested I could POP in on her Dad and see if he was OK, I said "Sorry I've not done popping for a few years now love and his son lives with him and you buggered off to Aus and I've got you're brother and myself to look after so No I can't help".

Re: Back after a week with Mum.

Nice to see you back Moira. This year it is 40 years since my Dad died and 30 years since my Mum did too.
So I have not had to look after elderly people but I did look after both my parents when they were dying but then being in my 20's and then 30's I still had energy to spare. So I do feel sorry for you older ones now. I
couldn't do now what I did all those years ago. So congratulations to all
of you having to care for the elderly relatives and hope your strength continues.

Re: Back after a week with Mum.

Have a good idea what you're going through Moira, my Mum's 89 and has had cancer for 6 years. I take her for all medical appointments, do her shopping and errands, her garden, banking, etc etc while my brother lives it up on his boat in Lanzarote and doesn't even bother to write to her. Even though her grown up grandchildren are within easy distance they have only visited her once since last christmas. I sometimes find it very tiring not having anyone to share responsibilities with, but thank god I have managed to organize some lovely carers now which is a godsend. Mum insists she wants to die at her home and nowhere else, which I can't blame her for in a way, but it is hard work and worry for others. Bet other family will be round like moths to a flame when anything happens.

Re: Back after a week with Mum.

Thanks for all your responses and support. I can't complain about my brothers. They are the ones who still live nearby and they are great, my S-I-L is a star. I go for a week a month and do things they don't have time for (they are working), a sister comes with me for company. She has chronic ill health so isn't able to do much. Mum also so has fantastic neighbours. I count myself lucky and at the moment it's all manageable, but I do wonder about the future. Once again thanks.