12-01-2013, 09:47 AM
1
A stupid question
Yesterday I was buying a large bag of Purina dog food for my dog at ASDA and was about to check out when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog. What a stupid question I thought, but since I'm retired with little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, and that I was starting the Purina Diet again.I continued to tell her that I probably shouldn't though, because I'd ended up in the hospital last time, and that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.
I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry and that the food is nutritionally complete, so that when I was better I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in the checkout queue was by now enthralled with my story.)
Horrified by my injuries, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food had poisoned me but I told her no, that I had stepped off a kerb to sniff an Irish Setter's arse and I was hit by a truck.
The checkout queue erupted and ASDA won't let me shop there anymore.....
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