What would you fetch?

Muddy's thread about 'no time wasters' on adverts made me think of something amusing.

If it were yourself you were selling, how would you describe yourself on the postcard in the newsagents window?

Would you be 'priceless', or 'free to good home'?

Re: What would you fetch?

One careful owner. Chassis and suspension still in good nick. Motor can need a good hand crank now and then. Paintwork slightly corroded in places. All reasonable offers considered.

Re: What would you fetch?

No reasonable offer refused

Re: What would you fetch?

High mileage
bit of a smoker
engine needs a service but reliable.
bodywork a bit battered
No M.O.T

Too good to scrap.

Re: What would you fetch?

"Good for parts only."

Re: What would you fetch?

In order to submit an appropriate (reasonable) offer, a few details are required.

Please forward bank statement and list of all shares, investments and property.
How is your health ? Any offspring ? Do you have a will ?
Can you cook well, wash, iron, clean cars and boats, mow lawns and handle most household maintenance ?

Do you detest cats and generally speaking view pets of any kind with disfavour - as opposed to animals in the wild ?

Extreme skepticism regarding religion and an abhorrence of right-wing politics will have a positive impact on the offer.

Whilst you must be trim, taut and terrific you must have a passion for geriatric, fat, bald, toothless, alcoholic Australian men.
The only real music is, of course, Classical.
The only real vehicles are 4WDs.
Television remotes must always be in the hands of the man of the house.
Most sport is boring.

A shared view that sex is the most over-rated of indoor and outdoor activity will also be helpful.



Your signed agreement with all of the above will generate a 'reasonable' offer -
at least three figures !

Re: What would you fetch?

Getting a bit long in the tooth but sound in heart and wind.
Still good for a gallop
Responds well to love and affection
Has been known to kick and bite given provocation

Re: What would you fetch?

Hi

An ideal restoration project, engine needs a complete rebore.

Needs regular servicing to keep in working order.

Re: What would you fetch?

Firey old dragon, capable of spitting sparks but not so many flames requires solitude and quiet, temperamental but caring best placed with dogs not humans.

Not for the novice owner!

Re: What would you fetch?

Good Workhorse, no Guarantee offered or implied.